Satan lied to me by assuring me of my “salvation.” I longed to find the victory and peace that the Lord had promised me and to make the decision to follow the Lord as He had called me.  At church I heard of their cars, boats, vacations, amusements, and financial status. I listened, but before long I was over my head in sin!  His angels of light began coaching me to loosen up and enjoy life, for that is why God created us.  Do not you think that we all want to serve God?  Do not be so heavenly-minded that you are no-earthly-good.  I was a preacher boy and the world's biggest hypocrite!  I now embraced one doctrine that I knew very well, eternal security - for it allowed me to justify my sin! With growing hatred towards my parents for not being able to get this matter straight, I joined the military to run from God.  I stopped reading my Bible and praying.  I now listened to rock music every day and allowed my mind and thoughts to wander to whatever I wished!  I was now going to be in control - not a bunch of liars who said they followed God but explained away all their sins.  Within a short time, I chucked church and all the hypocrites with it!
For many years, I went from one sin to another, one country to another, one state to another, one habit to another, one drink, one smoke, one drug... then two... then three...  Now my life was out of control, even to the standards of those that had helped me to be free from the "bondage of a holy life!”  They now tossed me out as rubbish and trash for going too far in the "freedom in Christ!”  A little sin was okay, but now I had stepped over the hypocrite barrier (like them except too outward).  I needed to control myself - they were not going to pull me out of the bars again, nor the police station, nor the hospital, nor the impound yard!  What was I doing to myself?
By now I had broken Dad's heart, cursed at him, and acted as if I had never known him.  He began to pray for me every day!  I would talk to him, and he would cry and tell me how much he loved me and how I needed to repent of my sins!  Why? So I could live a controlled sinful life like all the rest? He told me every time I saw him that he prayed several times a day for me.  He would bring out his Bible from his back pocket and show me the ink-stained 3x5 card and would point to my name - "my son"!
My sin had so consumed my life that I now did not care for anything but myself!  I was now in complete control; and no one would stand in my way. Dad kept praying and preaching to me every time I talked to him. He warned me of my sins and God's judgment. God was getting through!  I went into an old box and found the Bible that Dad had purchased for me with literally borrowed money - I remember the day and the sacrifice!  I opened it and read the scriptures that he had "shoved down my throat!"



  They burned like a hot iron all through my chest and head.  I could not sleep or think of anything else.  I became so unbearable to live with.  My wife and I fought daily with police involvement.
Now I had children, and satan was destroying my relationship with my wife.  Our third son was on his way, conviction was heavy, Dad was praying, and satan was in control!  What could I do to get peace?  Holy Spirit conviction was driving me crazy! I sat down to watch a peaceful night of television... so I thought!  The television was on, but all I could hear was Dad's Bible verses; and I could see Operation Desert Shield as if it were Armageddon!  I could not take it anymore!  I ran to the front porch and got on my knees.  I simply said, "Lord, I know there is more to salvation and Your word than I've been told. I want to take up my cross and follow You.  I am addicted to sin and I love it, but if You will save me from myself, I will obey You for the rest of my life. I do not want to be a hypocrite and pretender.  Save me!"
I got up, broke up my cigarettes, poured the alcohol down the drain, got rid of the drugs, and read my Bible.  My wife was not home for I had kicked her out of the house and the police had to come to allow her entrance.  I went to sleep with my Bible next to my bed. 
The next few weeks God worked miracles and gave me victory over those bad habits. I broke off my business partnership with my ungodly partner, and I began reading my Bible so much that my wife wanted to be converted, as she saw God's change in me (unbelievable) - he brought my wife to repentance.  After her baptism, she cleaned out our house of all that she knew to be wrong at the time (immodest clothing, magazines, books, television, etc.)!  What a sight!  I came home from work to see mounds of black garbage bags in front of the house.  I thought she was leaving her religious fanatic husband!  No, God had done the work in her heart - there was no flesh, philosophy, or theology here!  God had worked a miracle, and He continues to this day - by His grace!  Why had not anyone told me the truth before! 
Was their sin that important in their lives? Why did not anyone instill in me the fear of God?  Why was everyone so fast to justify sin?  God’s commandments were not taught as the blessings that they are in our life. Why could not I find a church that would tell my wife and I how to act, live, grow, and raise our children in the fear of God?